Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you made out with another girl for some wings
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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