Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
