tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
