i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
