Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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