ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
