OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
