when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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