Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
