I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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