Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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