Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize