id be glad to
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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