you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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