I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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