he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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