OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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