in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize