Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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