Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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