Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize