real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's shark week go big or go home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
