We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
