Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
