i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize