after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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