That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
