the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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