I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize