Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
