I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
