how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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