youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
