And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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