At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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