trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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