Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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