i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
