he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
