he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
