I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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