people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
