cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
