here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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