Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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