watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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