God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
