He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
