That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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