That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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