I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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