yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
