Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
BRING THE BAGELS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
