This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
