Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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