Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize