What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
