On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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